But, What About Socialization?

The number one question I get asked when I tell people I homeschool my children is…but what about socialization?  

Although non-homeschoolers worry that homeschooling may turn children into social misfits, we know that the opposite is true and that POSITIVE socialization is one of the very best reasons to homeschool your children. Contrary to decades of stereotypes painting homeschool students as awkward and antisocial, today's homeschoolers have far fewer difficulties in building healthy friendships than they did in the past.

Socialization is meant to prepare children for the real world, which means learning to interact and deal with people of all ages, races, and backgrounds, In this case, homeschooling does a better job of this because homeschoolers spend more actual time out in society and not in a cement building ostracizing other kids at the lunch table during the one time during the day they are “allowed to be social”. - that is if they weren’t group punished with a silent lunch. I cannot tell you how many times my children came home and told me that happened. Ridiculous!

Not to mention, much of the socialization these days starts on, moves to, or somehow involves the internet and social media— whether you are in a traditional school, homeschooled, on a desert island, or at the North Pole.

Home-schooled children are taking part in the daily routines of their communities. They are certainly not isolated; in fact, they associate with–and feel close to–all sorts of people. Kids and adults. The classroom isn’t the only place to make friends.

Homeschooling parents can take much of the credit for this. Home school moms and dads have their kids' long-term social development in mind, and they actively encourage their children to take advantage of social opportunities outside the family. Home-schooled children are acquiring the rules of behavior and systems of beliefs and attitudes they need. They have good self-esteem and are likely to display fewer behavior problems than other children. They may be more socially mature and have better leadership skills than other children of the same age.

The structure and reality of traditional schools are teaching students to be passive and compliant, and to not stick up for yourself, which can follow the children throughout life. Children can learn to take abuse, to ignore miserable bosses or abusive spouses later on. 

This is where homeschooling comes in. Kids in homeschooling develop self-confidence and self-esteem; they learn to deal with difficult people when they are developmentally ready. When they are ready to go out into the world, they know they have choices. This is a foundation developed in homeschooling.

Socialization in homeschooling works better because children have more opportunities to be socialized through the modeling of good social behavior by caring adults rather than through peers, who do not know much more than they do and are many times the root of any problems that your kids have. Parents give their kids the skills they need to interact with other people and also have the chance to protect their children.

So, the big question in homeschooling socialization is “Who do we want them learning life skills from? Caring adults, or teachers who continually give out group punishments and peers who don’t know any more than they do?”

But wait. There is a bigger socialization question - and I get it all the time now that my son is in highschool…

What about the prom?!’” OMG the prom!!!!  

When you look back was that the best moment of your life? Probably not. Yeah yeah, it's a Facebook memory for the parents, I get it. But truthfully the pressure of the prom is kind of crazy these days. Have you seen some of these prom proposals? - The pressure of concocting something so contrived combined with the pressure of being asked!

BUT if you are worried about your child having that rite of passage, you can rest easy because many homeschool organizations have established proms and graduations for homeschoolers and many homeschoolers get invited to public school proms at local public schools through their friends. 

Boom. Prom drama solved.  

Homeschooling gives children more time to be out in the world, with people of different ages so they can figure out where their place in the world is, what they like/dislike, etc. With the extra time, homeschoolers also make an effort to create socialization opportunities for themselves, and to take advantage of those offered in their communities.

There are countless sports teams, clubs, activities, and events that your child can be a part of. Not to mention many homeschool support groups, volunteering opportunities, theatre clubs, camps, and the list goes on.  

So, as we’ve always known, there is no “socialization issue” in homeschooling. If anything, homeschoolers make a concentrated effort to seek out and engage in many social activities and in many ways have more opportunities for doing so than traditionally schooled children do.

Homeschool Happily: Yes, You Can! is available on the SHOP page