Finding Happiness in a Post-Pandemic World
Life is slowly but surely starting to feel like it is getting back to normal in some cities and towns, while others are still holding tight and sheltering in place. Maybe you accomplished something monumental during the lengthy lockdown; perhaps you did nothing at all except watch all of Netflix, twice. Still, one thing is for sure, we all slowed the hell down and had a lot of time to think. And drink. (Although, that might have just been me.)
Are you going to jump right back into the swing of things, packing your social calendar, working yourself to the bone, and running errands with any spare second you have left? Or has this time of isolation changed your perspective on what truly enriches your life and gives it meaning? Over these 100 or so days, I happened to think a lot about happiness (not everyone likes to wallow in their own misery, you know) and came up with a guide to post-pandemic well-being:
Start spending time with the right people. – You might be desperate for socialization by now, even if you had weekly zoom calls with random college buddies, you haven’t spoken to for twenty years prior. Now is the time to start being selective about who is in your inner circle. Keep the people around who genuinely love and appreciate you and who encourage you to be a better person. Not the ones who play passive-aggressive games.
Stop overreacting. – We have all seen better days, but by now, you probably realize that how you react to your problems can be the biggest problem of all. Just scrolling through social media can cause even the most even-keeled person to lose their shit. Use a calming app if you need to chill before reacting.
Be honest with yourself about everything. – You have probably done a bit of soul searching lately, so hopefully, you are ready to start being honest with yourself. Be realistic about what’s right, as well as what needs to be changed. Be honest about what you want to achieve and who you want to become. Be honest with every aspect of your life, because the only person you can truly count on in this world is YOU. Remember, no one was sharing their toilet paper or hand sanitizer; were they?
Be yourself, genuinely, and proudly. – As much as Instagram would try to convince you otherwise, trying to be anyone else is a waste of the person you are. Be yourself. Embrace your “youness” – that individual inside you that has ideas, strengths, and beauty like no one else. If you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it.
Live in the present. – I think we have all realized lately that now is the only moment guaranteed to you. Right now is life. So stop analyzing the future. Stop dwelling on what did or didn’t happen in the past. Learn to be in the ‘here and now’ and experience life as it’s happening. Charge forward with determination and no regrets. Live life out loud!
Enjoy the things you already have. – The problem with many of us is that we think we’ll be happy when we reach a certain level in life – a level we see others operating at – your boss with her corner office, that friend of a friend who owns a fab beach house, etc. Unfortunately, it takes a while before you get there, and when you get there, you’ll likely have a new destination in mind. You’ll end up spending your whole life working toward something new without ever stopping to enjoy the things you have now. The world on pause hopefully made more people stop and be thankful for what they have.
Create your own happiness. – If you were sitting home alone for the past three months waiting for someone else to make you happy, you were probably pretty miserable. If you look for happiness within the opportunities you already have, you will eventually find it.
Enter new relationships for the right reasons. – You are probably desperate for friends and affection, but do not jump into new relationships because of that. Your slate is clean, so it’s time to enter new relationships with dependable, honest people who reflect the person you are and the person you want to be. Choose friends you are proud to know, people you admire, who show you love and respect – people who reciprocate your kindness and commitment. And pay attention to what people do, because a person’s actions are much more important than their words.
Cheer for other people’s victories. – During quarantine, I found a group of women who actually pumped each other up for each other’s accomplishments daily. I never knew a group of women like that existed. Many girls I know won’t ever give a compliment (jealousy is ugly) and pretend they never saw that Facebook post that said you won the lottery, or you got a big promotion, you got a fabulous new balayage or your kid won an impressive award. But, they will be the first to commiserate when you post something negative. It’s high time we have an appreciation for how amazing the people around us are. Be happy for those who are making progress. Cheer for their victories. Be thankful for their blessings openly. What goes around comes around, and sooner or later, the people you’re cheering for will start cheering for you.
Look for the silver lining in tough situations. – I spent my lockdown in a positive place (aside from the first week where I felt like I was in drug detox and having anxiety attacks daily) When things are hard, and you feel down, take a few deep breaths and look for the silver lining – the small glimmers of hope. Remind yourself that you can and will grow stronger from these hard times.
Forgive yourself and others. – I have been hurt before. Many times. Sometimes daily. We’ve all been hurt by our own decisions and by others. And while the pain of these experiences is normal, sometimes it lingers for too long. Forgiveness is the remedy. It doesn’t mean you’re erasing the past or forgetting what happened. It means you’re letting go of resentment and pain, instead choosing to learn from the incident and move on with life. Three people were on the receiving end of my forgiveness this spring. None of them know it, but it clears space in my head.
Help those around you. – People have gone through some really tough times with sickness, lack of employment, depression, sadness, and stress. Care about people. It makes the world a better place. Love and kindness begets love and kindness.
Be attentive to your stress level and take short breaks.– Slow down. Breathe. Give yourself permission to pause, regroup, and move forward with clarity and purpose. Just like you did on lock-down. Keep that up. When you’re at your busiest, a brief recess can rejuvenate your mind and increase your productivity. These short breaks will help you regain your sanity and reflect on your recent actions so you can be sure they’re in line with your goals.
Notice the beauty of small moments. – Instead of waiting for the big things to happen – find happiness in the small things that happen every day. We had a lot of time to reflect on the little things like staring up into a blue sky, having a quiet cup of coffee in the early morning, or the delicious taste and smell of fresh from the oven cookies, Noticing these small pleasures daily makes a big difference in the quality of your life.
Work towards your goals every single day. – You’ve got 3 choices: give up, give in, or give it all you’ve got! Get out there and DO something! Opportunity will be in abundance soon!
Take full accountability for your own life. – Own your choices and mistakes, and be willing to take the necessary steps to improve upon them. Every person has a stack of obstacles in front of them. But you must take accountability for your situation and overcome them. Choosing not to is choosing a lifetime of excuses. The only thing standing between you and your goal is the negative story you keep telling yourself as to why you can’t achieve it.
Make your post-pandemic story a good one!